Corpo means brutal

Corpo means brutal.

More than a year ago I was wondering where to work. I have been working since in a huge British company that is present in almost every aspect of life, I'm a little trigger in its base in Poland, a month ago I was on holiday, I was skiing and I felt that I owe my life. I do not feel that anymore. 

this whole corpo situation might end bad for me. Funny thing is that I am aware of it, I know that stress is killing me, it's bad that I don't have time to have lunch and that people from the Company are my new friends. 

Shall I fight or let it go? I was trying to fight- kind of impossible, I spend most of the time with the people from work, it's so very scary.... 

I have Been in very bad mood recently, maybe it is some kind of depression, I have no clue, the feeling was horrible, nothing was making it better. 

I tend to think that surely I have some mental illness, I am never satisfied, I always find something to worry, and of course I'm scared, I'm scared of everything. 

This situation is very difficult for me, I should probably seek help but I'm to proud to do it. 

I went shopping the other day, I bought some presents and Christmas tree, last year I was so excited about dressing it and celebrating the Christmas time, this year I still haven't dressed the tree... But hey I do get some Christmas spirit we have a Christmas party tonight, last year I hated it and this year I was looking for it! 

I changed. My life has changed. I don't understand. 

Autriche.

Autriche

Here i am again, living a dream, 3 days of perfect weather made the stay lovely.

A little of speed, a little of unknown, sun and snow- everything what you need. I love my life and one thing that I'm sure of is that I work to live and not the other way around. 

It's has been a year already that I work in my corpo, I am definitely a corpo wannabe, I got my promotion pretty fast and I'm really into my job, I am also aware of the fact that I can easily loose myself in it and in its temptations. But I'm more than sure now that I want to stay me, the way I was brought up, where traveling and enjoying life is a part of life actually.

You wake up, eat, prepare and off you go, short ride by car, first lift, second lift, a little stop to finish putting all the clothes and protection, third lift and less than an hour later you are on 3200 meteres above the sea level and you feel free...

You get tired very easily, you breath and then you feel this extiement running through your vains, and the race starts, the race with your own fears, your own limits. 

No, don't get mislead, it does not mean you are the best but simply you owe your life, you know that it is only you and your head. 

Only 1200 km from home but so totally different.

Holidays.

Alicante.

I love being on the sun, I mean once a year. 

few months back I started my little research in order to prepare this years summer vacation. We had some criteria: should be a rather cheap stay, for two weeks and of course had to offer Spanish course, we didn't want to go somewhere we were on holidays before.

I made a demand to our beloved Language Abroad, we got to choose mainly between Marbella and Alicante, we had direct flights to both cities but at the end we decided to give a try to Alicante.

It is a medium sized city in Costa Blanca, many Spanish come here to their summer flats ( what you do not a have a flat at the seaside, come on!) it is full of little restaurants, shops, and it is surviving due to tourism.

In order to enjoy your stay you should just bare in mind one thing: tourist is a different species with different rights- once you understand this you will enjoy your holiday in lively Alicante.

As there are not loads of hotels and as we like to have our little kitchen to prepare bocadillas and other tasty tapas we decided to share a flat with other students. Our flat is located probably about 2 km from the beach (at least we get to lose some calories!!) and 300 m from our Spanish school. 

It is very interesting to get to live in a real flat in a real building in the city centre. I use to share a house with students during my Erasmus but it was nothing like the flat we are in now. It is probably 80 m large, has 3 bedroom a big living room, a bathroom and a kitchen. 

The funny thing Is that it is on the 4th floor and the staircase is so narrow that I really can't imagine how did they manage to get there furniture. 

Once in the flat you notice that the building forms sort of a triangle and in the middle you have windows giving the windows of our neighbors, the people use this space to dry their laundry and basically have no privacy at all. You can here anything that is happening in the building- at this point I stop to complain about thin walls in Poland- it is not bad!!

The great thing about Alicante (unlike in Valencia) is that city centre with all great restaurants and little, charming passages is located just steps away from the beach. I find it pretty expensive (as our last summer was in Mexico and everything was way cheaper, we compare). Spanish say that Alicante is cheap- ok if a very low salary is 800 euros and teachers earn like 2000 euros net, the rent is from 300- 500 than yes I agree it is cheap.

However, for us (and no, it is not complaining) with slightly different salaries it is pretty expensive. You should count a diner for 2 from 30-50 euros. You can get cheap fruit and vegetables, fish, sea food in mercado central (in Poland big malls are cheaper than mercados, here just the opposite). 

I simply love holidays! 

July 2013

Strange feeling.

It is somehow a strange feeling, this is the first July I remember spent without Lines and it feels weird. 

Not because I am so terribly missing it but rather because there where many changes in my life recently. 

It's been almost a year that I've been living with P, almost 10 months that I'm a corpo wannabe and I am actually having summer holidays in July- wow!

I assume this is the Normal reality, without summer jobs and endless trips.

For now I enjoy It but I can't help not checking what is on at Lines- I didn't realize how big part of my life it was- 11 summers?? 

Identity.

I smell french, 

I wear English, 

I work Indian, 

my lifestyle is American and 

my nationality is Polish.

So who am I?

I am me

Little talks.

            What is it G?

Well, I don't really know to be honest. 

What you mean you don’t know?

I simply don’t know, I don’t understand… I have had a feeling that I know him but know I feel I don’t at all….

How is it even possible? Did he say something?

No not really, he just didn’t want to do something very tiny but very important to me.

Why not?

Principles.

That’s it?

Yes, I think he didn’t want to do it just to show me that this is the way he is and that’s it.

So nothing really happened…

Well I want to think so… but you see … it made me realize that if something so tiny is a problem then what will happen with something bigger…

Come on… stop inventing things.

I will- I just can’t sleep.

Margaux in wonderland

After perfect Mexican holidays we are back to reality.

It has been some time ago already. We actually manage to have another quick trip to Autstria in the meantime.

My life is perfect now, it feels very good to be happy.

I feel loved, needed and enjoy all those feelings- I sometimes fear that is not for long but then I quickly remind myself that we are the creators of our lives…

So after my big dilemma here I am as a corpo wannabe- so funny at the end of the day.

It is exactly the way I saw corpos- rat race, little arrangmenet between those who are priviliged, everybody is complaining about salaries, work environment etc.

Working as a Customer Service Officer is hard but not unsupportable ! we all knew what job we take, we all know that french market (for which we are working) is one of the thoughest and we should all be not surpirised that they expect us actually to work.

I think it’s funny- I am being impatient about renegotiating the contract (I signed it until april).

xoxo