sobota, 14 grudnia 2013

Corpo means brutal

Corpo means brutal.
More than a year ago I was wondering where to work. I have been working since in a huge British company that is present in almost every aspect of life, I'm a little trigger in its base in Poland, a month ago I was on holiday, I was skiing and I felt that I owe my life. I do not feel that anymore. 
this whole corpo situation might end bad for me. Funny thing is that I am aware of it, I know that stress is killing me, it's bad that I don't have time to have lunch and that people from the Company are my new friends. 
Shall I fight or let it go? I was trying to fight- kind of impossible, I spend most of the time with the people from work, it's so very scary.... 
I have Been in very bad mood recently, maybe it is some kind of depression, I have no clue, the feeling was horrible, nothing was making it better. 
I tend to think that surely I have some mental illness, I am never satisfied, I always find something to worry, and of course I'm scared, I'm scared of everything. 
This situation is very difficult for me, I should probably seek help but I'm to proud to do it. 
I went shopping the other day, I bought some presents and Christmas tree, last year I was so excited about dressing it and celebrating the Christmas time, this year I still haven't dressed the tree... But hey I do get some Christmas spirit we have a Christmas party tonight, last year I hated it and this year I was looking for it! 
I changed. My life has changed. I don't understand. 

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