babies having babies

I still can not come out of the state of a shock that I got yesterday.

I was gone from my uni for a semester and during that time one of the classmates got married, pregnant and now is having a cute little baby.

Maybe this is not a surprise however being only 21 not having a job and having a boyfriend, I mean studying too sounds like WOW to me.

being jealous

The title might suggest talking about relationships, but no.

I feel that I’m more jealous of my little brother than I am of my dearest boyfriend...

Of course I get pissed when he talks to other girls but it’s not this kind of jealousy that I mean.

So howcome I’m jealous of my brother?

I feel that he is better treated by my parents, anything he wants- he gets, not that I don’t however it requiers more effrots from my side.

Going, asking, negotiating etc.

When I was his age I couldn’t do whatever I wanted I had to ask for permission, I couldn’t choose which car I will drive, how much money I would get for a trip etc.

It’s just that is it so much easier to him (but this is what is cool right? Life should be easy! OMG)

I feel that it is so stupid, but I just can’t handle it (it’s the same thing with my father changing me car every three months- I do not want to get angry but I do.)

I believe that in order to change the first thing is the recognition of the thing we want to change- so we are done with the first step- I do not want to be jealous of such a stupid thing!

Now I JUST have to change it.

Thanks for listening to me my diary- it feels so much better!

I will change this, I will change this, I will change this, I will change this!