Soo happy.

I often ask myself what happiness is.

I am getting pretty good in realizing how happy and lucky I am. This is the point right? To know that you are good when you are good and when you are wrong to get over it.

I also think that there is something wrong with my mind- I can get very emotional without any logical reason- with those strange mood swings- I suppose it may become a problem at some point.

I feel happy when I go to work.

I feel happy to see people I like.

I am happy when the sun is shining.

I am happy when I walk.

I am happy when I buy whatever I need.

I am happy because I will go skiing soon.

I am happy because my people are healthy.

I am happy because I love my car.

I am happy with my promotion.

I am happy when I am getting back home to P.

I am happy when I pole dance.

I am happy when I squat.

I am happy when I party.

I am happy when I drink.

I am happy when I eat.

I am happy when the bed is warm.

I am happy when I see happiness.

It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me…
Wooooo…
And I’m feeling good

I hate tourists.

I hate tourists- I said it about twenty times today, but I really do.   

To make matters worse I am one of them. 

Who said that holidays are the time to relax and free our minds? 

I get angry more than normally probably because on daily basis I would avoid places like crowdy towns and busy streets, restaurants. Today is Sunday- meaning all tourists + all locals from Nerja are on the beach. THE beach is a rather small bay with grey sand (honestly I think it is the worse thing in beautiful and charming Nerja), when you arrive it is already full of screaming children and Spanish. Eventually you will find a little space- literally for 2 towels-nothing more.  

This is where sunbathing begins… put some filter, read few pages, drink some water, go to swim aaaand put some filter, turn around, eat some fruit, look at people, go to swim etc. depending if you smoke/drink alcohol/ have lunch/play with kids / kiss etc. your paradise would last for like 5 hours but as we say “desafortunadamente” a Spanish lover decided to show off in front of his girlfriend and find a place for them…. 5 cm from my towel- sweet, I love it! So as a matter of fact little running creatures that put sand all over your towel aren’t the biggest issue on the beach!

But I’m not complaining- it is not my nature + I love holidays, it is just for those who have to work while we are on holidays.

anything is possible until you make a decision.

I hate studying.
Every year in January a busy, exams period starts.
It wouldn't be unsual but this year I have my stressful job, some stupid corpo life and exams.
Last week I wouldn't dare to think that I would be looking for going back to work but yes when I woke up today and realised that the following 3 days will be full of studying I reaaaaly wanted to go to work- instead I have to study.
why do I always want more? maybe I should rather choose normal.
But i am not normal and probably never will be.
I always want more.

Corpo means brutal

Corpo means brutal.

More than a year ago I was wondering where to work. I have been working since in a huge British company that is present in almost every aspect of life, I'm a little trigger in its base in Poland, a month ago I was on holiday, I was skiing and I felt that I owe my life. I do not feel that anymore. 

this whole corpo situation might end bad for me. Funny thing is that I am aware of it, I know that stress is killing me, it's bad that I don't have time to have lunch and that people from the Company are my new friends. 

Shall I fight or let it go? I was trying to fight- kind of impossible, I spend most of the time with the people from work, it's so very scary.... 

I have Been in very bad mood recently, maybe it is some kind of depression, I have no clue, the feeling was horrible, nothing was making it better. 

I tend to think that surely I have some mental illness, I am never satisfied, I always find something to worry, and of course I'm scared, I'm scared of everything. 

This situation is very difficult for me, I should probably seek help but I'm to proud to do it. 

I went shopping the other day, I bought some presents and Christmas tree, last year I was so excited about dressing it and celebrating the Christmas time, this year I still haven't dressed the tree... But hey I do get some Christmas spirit we have a Christmas party tonight, last year I hated it and this year I was looking for it! 

I changed. My life has changed. I don't understand. 

Autriche.

Autriche

Here i am again, living a dream, 3 days of perfect weather made the stay lovely.

A little of speed, a little of unknown, sun and snow- everything what you need. I love my life and one thing that I'm sure of is that I work to live and not the other way around. 

It's has been a year already that I work in my corpo, I am definitely a corpo wannabe, I got my promotion pretty fast and I'm really into my job, I am also aware of the fact that I can easily loose myself in it and in its temptations. But I'm more than sure now that I want to stay me, the way I was brought up, where traveling and enjoying life is a part of life actually.

You wake up, eat, prepare and off you go, short ride by car, first lift, second lift, a little stop to finish putting all the clothes and protection, third lift and less than an hour later you are on 3200 meteres above the sea level and you feel free...

You get tired very easily, you breath and then you feel this extiement running through your vains, and the race starts, the race with your own fears, your own limits. 

No, don't get mislead, it does not mean you are the best but simply you owe your life, you know that it is only you and your head. 

Only 1200 km from home but so totally different.

Holidays.

Alicante.

I love being on the sun, I mean once a year. 

few months back I started my little research in order to prepare this years summer vacation. We had some criteria: should be a rather cheap stay, for two weeks and of course had to offer Spanish course, we didn't want to go somewhere we were on holidays before.

I made a demand to our beloved Language Abroad, we got to choose mainly between Marbella and Alicante, we had direct flights to both cities but at the end we decided to give a try to Alicante.

It is a medium sized city in Costa Blanca, many Spanish come here to their summer flats ( what you do not a have a flat at the seaside, come on!) it is full of little restaurants, shops, and it is surviving due to tourism.

In order to enjoy your stay you should just bare in mind one thing: tourist is a different species with different rights- once you understand this you will enjoy your holiday in lively Alicante.

As there are not loads of hotels and as we like to have our little kitchen to prepare bocadillas and other tasty tapas we decided to share a flat with other students. Our flat is located probably about 2 km from the beach (at least we get to lose some calories!!) and 300 m from our Spanish school. 

It is very interesting to get to live in a real flat in a real building in the city centre. I use to share a house with students during my Erasmus but it was nothing like the flat we are in now. It is probably 80 m large, has 3 bedroom a big living room, a bathroom and a kitchen. 

The funny thing Is that it is on the 4th floor and the staircase is so narrow that I really can't imagine how did they manage to get there furniture. 

Once in the flat you notice that the building forms sort of a triangle and in the middle you have windows giving the windows of our neighbors, the people use this space to dry their laundry and basically have no privacy at all. You can here anything that is happening in the building- at this point I stop to complain about thin walls in Poland- it is not bad!!

The great thing about Alicante (unlike in Valencia) is that city centre with all great restaurants and little, charming passages is located just steps away from the beach. I find it pretty expensive (as our last summer was in Mexico and everything was way cheaper, we compare). Spanish say that Alicante is cheap- ok if a very low salary is 800 euros and teachers earn like 2000 euros net, the rent is from 300- 500 than yes I agree it is cheap.

However, for us (and no, it is not complaining) with slightly different salaries it is pretty expensive. You should count a diner for 2 from 30-50 euros. You can get cheap fruit and vegetables, fish, sea food in mercado central (in Poland big malls are cheaper than mercados, here just the opposite). 

I simply love holidays! 

July 2013

Strange feeling.

It is somehow a strange feeling, this is the first July I remember spent without Lines and it feels weird. 

Not because I am so terribly missing it but rather because there where many changes in my life recently. 

It's been almost a year that I've been living with P, almost 10 months that I'm a corpo wannabe and I am actually having summer holidays in July- wow!

I assume this is the Normal reality, without summer jobs and endless trips.

For now I enjoy It but I can't help not checking what is on at Lines- I didn't realize how big part of my life it was- 11 summers??